A Long December...

There are more pictures of Renée's finger. Lots more. It became infected and...just...gross. Then it healed. There are few people who have it within them to turn slice like that into a month (or close) long healing process. Two of those few people - are me & Renée. 


She celebrated 5 years of employment here since we (I) last posted. Her gift from our department was her very own miniature skeleton. I believe the box actually said..."My First Skeleton". ( ...Only at a medical school gift shop. We didn't have anything like this at the supe store at Alabama.) There is a story behind it (the skeleton); I trust you'll trust me when I say...trust me, it was an appropriate gift.


I'll leave it to her to post pictures [of the skeleton]...maybe THAT will get her started in participating in this blog. That, and she's come across some lovely article titles lately.


The impetus for this particular post is William and the signing of my birthday card for the year. I've mentioned his talent before...thought to share it again now.  


Happy New year!!! ~ A

2009:

Once upon a time...

This is the story of a girl and workmen's comp...

For half of each work day, and all day Tuesdays, girl works in Historical Collections and Archives.  She has a knack for this area...a certain talent & thirst for the knowledge and history. 

Within this position, girl maintains and repairs books.  She is thorough and does her job well.   

One day, after her repair work was complete, girl was cleaning tools and supplies.  Among those supplies, girl was cleaning her scissors. 

While cleaning her scissors, girl sliced finger.

Girl's coworker and friend now affectionately calls her "Triple Stitch"...or "Stitch", for short. 

 

Hallmark Calling

As mentioned in a previous post...we look most forward to whatever it is William (a volunteer who works with us when available) signs in cards (birthday, get well, going away, etc.).

Truth be told, if William hasn't been around and hasn't signed whatever card has been routed...I'm disappointed. If William-less, unless the card is for me, I almost don't care to read it. Though, if it's not for me, I'm not really meant to [read it]. We all pass it around just the same... Note: If it you want to write a more personal sentiment...buy a separate card.

We recently had a low-key going-away for our member of our department.

Most people wrote... Good luck! Best wishes! Have fun and RELAX!

William, gotta love him, wrote...

Lesson learned

My very dear & sweet friend, Katrina (who happens to be a librarian), sent this to me...

As library humor goes, Renee & I think it's pretty cute.

Actual requests (no dedications...)

So, not to mock legitimate medical experimentation and research, and I'm sure someone somewhere is being helped...if not medically, then only by completing his/her thesis. That being said, we've collected a few more amusing titles we've been asked to provide. And so we're sharing.


The ethnobiology of the Haitian zombi. [Journal of Ethnopharmacology]


Defensive behavior of eastern chipmunks against Aedes triseriatus (Diptera: Culicidae). [Journal of Medical Entomology]


Recombineering-based procedure for creating Cre/loxP conditional knockouts in the mouse. [Current Protocols in Molecular Biology]


Doctor of love : James Graham and his celestial bed. [Book by Lydia Syson]


Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage. [Journal of Internal Medicine]


A condom skill scale: assessing condom skills among female drug users. [Journal of Drug Education]


We wondered if they lined the women up, game them each a banana...with someone keeping time...and said GO! Renee read pieces of this article, and learned they used penis models - not bananas. The chart which displayed the results of the various skills that were measured was especially entertaining... I would gladly post if it didn't infringe on copyright restrictions.


We also thought the Journal of Practical Hygiene was an interesting title... As opposed to what? Impractical hygiene? Frivolous hygiene? Renee prefers the latter and wants to publish a journal with that name.


Lastly, for this post anyway, there is a journal entitled Mental Hygiene. Perhaps they partner with Mental Floss? Regardless, read up to keep your cerebellum squeaky clean. Kidding. I have no idea what they write about.

The funny bone's connected to the...thigh bone.

Here are some quotes taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.

• By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

• The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

• She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

• I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.

• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

• I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.


• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

• The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

• Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

• The patient refused an autopsy.

• The patient has no past history of suicides.

• The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

• Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

• Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

• The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

• She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

• The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

• The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.